these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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