I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She's the barista slut.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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