This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
