I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
