god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
