Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
