this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
