She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
