We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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