We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
