i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
