Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
