It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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