she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
