he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize