I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
