i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
