im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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