People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
