Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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