Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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