i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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