marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Someone shit on the floor
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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