Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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