Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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