after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
