Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
