Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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