My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
