Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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