saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
