ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize