remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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