Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
