Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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