Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
