I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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