Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
