Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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