she smelled like a LAN party
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
