final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
