Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
