It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
