Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
