ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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