I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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