in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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