so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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