They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
