Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
