Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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