everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
