16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
