Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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