Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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