I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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