Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize