The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
