In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
