Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
