You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
