Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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