Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
