Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
