I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
